Prioritise you!

Deaf or not, this is something that we all need to do from time to time: self care, positive thoughts and a bit of "me" time is always a good idea. 

This post was inspired by a lovely lady who reached out to me for some advice earlier this week. Someone who, like me, is back at work full time in a very busy, loud office and felt overwhelmed by the noise after working from home for the past 15 months. I'm no expert, but I can relate to the deafening (excuse the pun!) volume that is an office full of 12+ colleagues as well as passers by, daily visitors and a very busy phone. She asked me to write down what I had said as it may help someone else, so I thought why not.

Think of your brain as a compass, it hears a noise, figures out which ear is nearest, and processes this accordingly. With only one working ear this can't happen. Any normal hearing person will hear a noise on the left and turn that way, in my case (and many others too) this is where you'll find me spinning around in a circle trying to figure out "who said that!" Think about that for a minute.. imagine not having a clue where a noise is coming from, whether it's your phone ringing or a colleagues, or if the person on your "bad side" has been speaking to you for ages and you haven't heard a single word! Your brain is a filter, focusing on the conversation you are having at that very moment and distracting you from all of the other background noise. This can't happen for a half deaf person, leaving your brain confused and left focusing on the nearest sounds: the wind through a window, a conversation on the next table or someone quietly humming. Single sided deafness has been proven to cause fatigue, brain fog, and lowers a persons ability to multi task. Next time you see me napping at my desk you'll know why!

It's not something that I ever thought I could manage, but here we are, nearly 6 years in and managing just fine. It took me a very long time to accept that some days are easy, some are extremely hard, and others are just plain annoying (and sometimes quite funny!). You come to realise that you can no longer have someone speak to you from outside of the room, or call your mobile phone when you have lost it as you've got no chance of ever finding it! But that's ok. Don't beat yourself up for not hearing someone or having to ask twice what someones name is. There is nothing to apologise for or be embarrassed about. Being deaf is part of you. It's who you are. Believe me, you are a stronger person for it. 

Rome wasn't built in a day.

And breathe..

Positive quotes, negative news, positive friends, negative thoughts, all equal a very real and uncertain world. 

While life is still happening (to some degree), and the danger still rife, I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of what another (relatively new and uninvestigated) virus could do to me and my good ear. After a viral infection attacked my hearing organ on my left side you never look at things the same. What if this virus does the same thing? What if it's happening right now and I don't know about it? What if people keep saying this isn't possible when it is? So many questions and so few answers. Am I being paranoid...probably yes, but I know for a fact that it's crossed the minds of many others in a similar situation. 

I saw a quote today which inspired me to take a step back, it made me think and evaluate day to day, some may say mundane tasks, which usually bring little joy. When did the small things become the big things? When did I start to look forward to going food shopping on a Saturday night and changing into yet another pair of new pajamas on a "work from home" day? When did I stop watching the news and look forward to more Netflix instead? Make the most of the small things happening now, anything at all that makes you smile and/or relax is worth doing. Check in with a friend, read a book, reach out if need be but stay positive always. This right here is the key, and made me think about the positives in my day.

For anyone who has any level of deafness, whether it be 1 ear or 2, will know the daily struggles of working in an office environment, only to be made harder by masks and screens (see previous blog post!). However, the office at the moment is a deaf persons dream, and although I miss my colleagues terribly, for this I am grateful. No one dropping in unannounced, no excess noise from conversations, kitchen, or deliveries, no one talking over each other to be heard, no street or printer noise or slamming of doors, just peaceful, quiet, work time, oh and a busy phone... but at least I can hear it ring! 

Working from home allows us to be comfortable in our own environment, don't pretend that you haven't worked in your dressing gown all day at least once and dunked one too many biscuits in your tea! If this makes you happy, do it. Have the glass of wine or the extra scoop of ice cream, stay in bed until 08:59am if you need to, there is no shame in doing what we need to do to stay positive and help each other through this.

Stay safe, stay home, and stay strong.